Getting rid of jehova's witnesses

+1 vote
asked Aug 4, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
This is a question on behalf of a friend of mine who's recently started getting a lot of visitors from jehova's witnesses. My friend asks how the hell do you dispatch them quickly and efficiently?
commented Aug 4, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
thanks for the answers. I will relay them to my friend and see if it helps =)
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
Your more than welcome. I hope those zealots work up a sweat trying to get people to answer the door.
commented Aug 4, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
I've never encountered Jehovas witness, only scientology.. but it must be annoying
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
Scientologists are the absolute worst, they believe in a religion invented by a science fiction writer.
commented Aug 4, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
ye it's so funny. It's like believing in the Jedi religion xP
commented Aug 4, 2011 by ChuckysChild (671 points)
a machine gun would do the trick.  the he can go after the mormans next, then he can go after the scientology flakes.

14 Answers

+1 vote
answered Aug 4, 2011 by Cateye Productions (2,305 points)
If they keep coming to your house let them know nicely, and say please don't come back. If they keep coming back tell them a second time in a more strict, and mean voice to go away, and threaten to call the police. If they keep coming back put up a sign on the door. If they ignore the sign notify the authority's. Hope this helps his pesky problem. Good luck!
+2 votes
answered Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
Tell your friend to not answer the door AT ALL when they're there. Also, to put a 'No Soliciting' sign on the door and if needed, a 'No Religious Groups' sign. It would be extremely effective to put a satanic star or swastika on the door as well but that might create other problems.

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commented Aug 4, 2011 by Patxi (12,610 points)
This actually worked, we placed a pentagram in the front door and they ignored the house. I lol'ed because I was not expecting it to work xD
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
All christian sects except for the mormons view the pentagram as a satanic symbol, so it's bullet proof unless you live in or around Utah.
+1 vote
answered Aug 4, 2011 by NaNaLuvsJacinta (136 points)
conpletely and offencive answer shocked it hasnot been closed
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
Which answer are you referring to?
0 votes
answered Aug 4, 2011 by CyberTourniquet (231 points)
I believe you should do what @Cateye Productions said to do.
commented Aug 4, 2011 by clone1018 (46 points)
This should be a comment or an up vote not an answer.
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
I considered converting it to a comment but I believe the user meant to say that he recommends the same as what @Cateye Productions  said to do, which would technically be an answer.
commented Aug 4, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
*agrees with zman*
0 votes
answered Aug 4, 2011 by ysbs (16 points)
i have a very effective method, just answer the door wearing very little, we used to get them comming to our door daily, even when we said we wernt interested, then 1 day they came whilst my uncle was in the shower so he runs to answer it with a towel round his waist, they look at him, and walked away. its been 12 years they never came back :D
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
hahaha, you'd be surprised what some of them are willing to put up with to pass on their "sacred" message.
+1 vote
answered Aug 4, 2011 by Hugo (1,691 points)
The best way of doing it would be to but a sign saying "I am a blood donor" or "Blood donors save lives!". :D
commented Aug 4, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
they're afraid of that? I feel like an idiot hardly knowing anything about jehovas witnesses O.O
commented Aug 4, 2011 by zman (3,536 points)
They'd probably still knock on your door and try to convince you to stop giving blood.
commented Aug 4, 2011 by Hugo (1,691 points)
That's true. They don't believe in giving blood. My grandfather is a doctor and the child of a jehova's witness was going to die without blood transfusion and the parents didn't give consent for the blood transfusion. They hate blood transfusions that much.

(Note: the child got the transfusion anyway)
0 votes
answered Aug 4, 2011 by Gorer22 (871 points)
When I first seen the title of this question the first thing that came to mind was, is this guy trying to exterminate all Jehovah Witnesses in some sort of genocidal fashion?!

Obviously, this is not the case. Thankfully.

When they, or any religious group come to my door, I open the door, explain why I'm about to close the door, and close it. (The explanation consists of one of two thing a - swearing at them for disturbing me b - explaining I'm atheist)
commented Aug 5, 2011 by Yarvaxea (3,996 points)
oh you figured out my secret dark motive O.O
+1 vote
answered Aug 4, 2011 by Jackster1337 (8,481 points)
The best way is to scare them.

I have ran after them with a chainsaw once, They never came back :)
0 votes
answered Aug 4, 2011 by Jackster1337 (8,481 points)
The best way is to scare them.

I have ran after them with a chainsaw once, They never came back :)
+1 vote
answered Aug 4, 2011 by Josh_M (2,661 points)
You could try putting a white sheet over you (like a ghost) and when you open the door, simply say "You're late"
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