Time to ask a question well outside of the bubble of tech, yet still incredibly important to life: geek dating. I'm sure I am not the only one out there, but I am a geek who has trouble meeting women who share common interests. I've tried on line dating and let's just say that's been less than successful. All I want to do is find a common interest female geek in the south jersey area. It shouldn't be that difficult. Any tips?
Answer by IamTechCrazy · Nov 19, 2012 at 12:17 PM
Here's the simple and powerful way to date. It works!
1) Forget about it! A lot of people (including myself in the past) feel they "NEED" to be with someone in order to feel complete or to be happy. FALSE! A significant other, or soul mate, is only one aspect of life and there are other aspects that are just as important. This really works. When you stop trying so hard, opportunities will arise. Why do you think people are always saying "When I'm single there's nobody but when I'm in a relationship, all these people show up". That's because they stop putting attention on finding someone and then people start showing up. That's how it works. You don't want it and it'll be given to you. Really think about that one.
2) When you've forgotten about it, focus on something else. Pick another part of your life to focus on and do it! If you feel you're unhealthy, out of shape or want to take better care of yourself then focus on yourself. Nothing wrong with that! A clean, healthy looking person with confidence goes a long way.
3) Get out and do stuff! Where is the easiest and most common place for people to meet? Work! Why? Because it's a place where you go consistently and can build a friendship with someone. That's how relationships start. There is no such thing as "bumping" into someone in the grocery store and it's love at first sight. One contact is not enough, unless you're relying completely on your looks and let's be honest...majority of us don't look like Brad Pitt. You need an environment where you have many chances to talk and build a friendship.
Tips for starting conversation:
1) Initiation - This part is easy. Pay attention to detail. You only need one reason to talk to someone. ONE!! That's all it takes. That's easy right? She's holding an iPhone, ask her about it. She's wearing a shirt with text on it, ask her to read it. You get the idea. Use the environment and the situation to your advantage. Get creative. People are not put off by strangers talking to them. Some girls will sit there in their head saying "I wish he would say something to me". I know I do. I know I've said, "I wish that girl would say something to me".
2) Conversation - Initiating contact is the easy part, holding a conversation on the other hand... This should be basic conversation. How are you? What do you do for a living? What kind of things are you into, technology, games, music, movies...the topics for discussion are endless. You need to pay attention to the topics she is interested in and talk about those. Be interested in what she's saying and PAY ATTENTION. I'm not giving you advice to pick up chicks! I'm telling you this to help you meet your "soul mate". You would be truly be interested and want to know about this persons life right? Find out about her, what's her life about and if she's someone that fits into your life. If she's not, move on! Don't get hung up on one girl just because she gives you the time of day.
Dating doesn't have to be hard. Make it a game and have fun with it. When you figure out what you want and you're on your way to getting it (Goal), you will notice that people will respond to that. You're like a trains that starting up and once you get going, people are either gonna get on board or out of the way. Hope that helps.