**Need Advise to Not Holding Grudges >=o**
I was wronged in the past, ~10 years ago. The idiot drove into my parents home (my room/office/car/etc.), all my belongings, and my multimedia business. The event devastated me financially. I took him to court, won, but he declared bankruptcy.
I still get mad when I think about it. I want to take it out of his hide, but workout to cool off. Praying helps, but I struggle to NOT do something stupid.
How do you NOT HOLD GRUDGES?
Answer by warpete · Jun 23, 2010 at 10:55 AM
This may seem like exactly the WRONG thing to do, but it works for me and many, many others I know. You said that Praying helps. Have you Prayed FOR this man and are not Praying that he gets what he deserves? I live just outside of Amish country in Pennsylvania. A few years ago a deranged man walked into a one-room Amish Schoolhouse and started shooting. He killed many children. The very next day, the Parents of the slain Children got together and forgave the man. They also took food and supplies to the killer's Wife knowing what pain she had to be in. I am not Religious, but I have tried to learn by example. The only way the Parents could relieve themselves of the torment and HATE of this killer, was to Pray FOR him. They said that God would take care of the rest. Since that tragedy, I have done exactly that, and I can tell you that it works EVERY TIME for me. Don't expect your feelings to change overnight, but in a few weeks of Praying you will see things in a new light. I used to use "rational emotive therapy" which allows a person to see and feel the other person's side, but this "Praying FOR someone who has caused you severe pain" works 100% of the time for me. As I said, I'm not Religious at all, but I was offered a tool to use, I use it---and it works for me!
Answer by trueb · Jun 23, 2010 at 10:29 AM
some thing like this can be hard to let go of. I must admit that does really suck. but you have to understand there is not much you can do about it now. you dont ever have to like the guy again, you dont ever have to see him again, but after 10 years its time to just move on.
find some thing else to occupy your time... i dont know what else to day