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What would you do if you caught your child or teenager watching pornography? Would you allow it to continue or punish them?

asked Jun 05 '10 at 17:41

MohamedBatista's gravatar image

MohamedBatista
284161926

closed Mar 25 '12 at 09:58

kevin's gravatar image

kevin ♦♦
35.8k161317591

The question has been closed for the following reason "Inappropriate Content" by kevin Mar 25 '12 at 09:58


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Look this guys from Egypt. Do you guys have any idea what porn is like in Egypt? I think porm is awesome. Its the best acting in the world. I thought it was great too, until I had daughters.

I caught my son watching porn when he was 15. We made a deal That I wouldn't make a big deal of it so long as his Mom didn't find out I also told him that if I ever found out that he had shown a woman or a girlfriend and disrespect,I'd hang around in the kitchen while he told his mom- and his sisters.

Scared the shit out of him.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered Sep 20 '10 at 22:18

NoncDavid's gravatar image

NoncDavid
40671424

I debated whether or not to leave this question open. I am going to on one condition: PLEASE stay appropriate. There is no reason that we cannot have an adult discussion of this nature without it turning into something bad. NO LINKS to your stash will be allowed. No telling each other where to find it. Nothing of the sort.... please. :)

That said

My first reaction was to flip out at the thought. I have a fifteen year old daughter. And then... I stepped back and really thought about it. She is curious, much as I was at that age. Much as ANYONE is. There is nothing wrong with watching porn in and of itself. Would I ground her? Nah. Would I sit down and talk to her? Yup. I wouldn't yell at her for it, but I would caution her as to the safety of it, answer any questions she had, and the like.

That doesn't mean I'd be happy about it, nor that I condone it. However, teenagers are going to do things we don't like. It's a fact of life. We cannot put them in a bubble and only allow them to do what we want. There comes a point we have to let go as parents and trust we raised them right. :)

answered Sep 20 '10 at 22:25

Kat's gravatar image

Kat ♦♦
5.0k145585

My father had a similar approach. He told me all would be good as long as I didn't go showing friends or taking it to school, and I turned out fine... right? (please don't answer)

(Sep 21 '10 at 07:37) Seb Seb's gravatar image

Kat - seems this one has run its course. Its starting to stink.

(Sep 21 '10 at 20:09) NoncDavid NoncDavid's gravatar image

I've been doing it since like 10, I'm 14 now, never got caught...

answered Jun 06 '10 at 23:16

AppleHack23's gravatar image

AppleHack23
(suspended)

1

That explains quite a bit.have you met the man of your dreams yet?

(Sep 20 '10 at 22:10) NoncDavid NoncDavid's gravatar image

..........Excuse me?

(Sep 20 '10 at 23:29) AppleHack23 AppleHack23's gravatar image

Wait, how does that explain "quite a bit"??

(Sep 20 '10 at 23:32) Phoenix7 Phoenix7's gravatar image

@NoncDavid You better watch what you say to me. And for the record, I'm not gay. So don't try to acuse me of your recent experiences. Thank you.

(Sep 20 '10 at 23:38) AppleHack23 AppleHack23's gravatar image

Why should he watch what he says? You're the one watching the porn.

(Sep 20 '10 at 23:50) DanielHep DanielHep's gravatar image

I lolled. Anyone who's certain of their sexuality shouldn't be offended by that unless they're homophobic, in which case I'd argue that they're uncertain of their sexuality.

(Sep 21 '10 at 07:47) Seb Seb's gravatar image

No, I am sure of my sexuality. I am 100% straight. People annoy the crap out of me at school by calling me gay all the time. It is against my religion (Christian) to be gay. And before you go and argue about adultery or whatever kind of sexual acts that you think is against God, remember, God made Adam and Eve naked and allowed them to stand before each other. It also says nothing about you not being allowed to experiment with your own body in the Bible. The only thing God does forbid, is penetration before marriage.

(Sep 21 '10 at 07:54) AppleHack23 AppleHack23's gravatar image

Just teasing... Do you respond to them by quivering your lip and stuttering "I-I-I... I'M NOT A HOMO!"? I'd suggest not doing so. If you're 100% straight, it shouldn't bother you that a guy calls you gay. edit: In fact, I used to wink at them in that situation... The one guy who took it further really was gay, and I ended up not being suspended for my reaction when he tried to feel me up... The girls are what count, right? What do you think goes through their mind when you bother to respond to that low sort of jibber?

... and no matter what the snake says, do not eat the apples. God doesn't like that.

(Sep 21 '10 at 11:01) Seb Seb's gravatar image

I had my son look at Apple's thread....I will not repeat what he said out of Christian chairity and compassion for our brother.

Yes, Apple, God did indeed made' Adam and Eve naked and allowed them to stand in front of each other". The Adam got frisky, they wound up in vegas and we all know that what happens, stays in Vegas - until it hits the web. But Apple - I want to hear more about that penetration thing.Help me out with that.

(Sep 21 '10 at 18:28) NoncDavid NoncDavid's gravatar image

Penetration means sexual intercourse with the opposite sex.

(Sep 21 '10 at 18:47) AppleHack23 AppleHack23's gravatar image

@AppleHack23- If you are 14, you're expressing to adults that you're breaking the law. By not reporting that knowledge we become accessories to contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Saying these things makes you feel good about yourself, like it's cool, it's not. I don't care to know your age or that you break the law. These discussions are meant to ask and answer questions, you're doing neither and you're giving the administrators more reason to stop us from having adult conversations about topics like these.

(Oct 06 '11 at 19:24) MacManDerek MacManDerek's gravatar image
showing 5 of 11 show all

I am saying this not as a parent but as a 23 year old college student. lets face it, they will get it one way or another, is it a good thing for them to watch porn? well we could debate that all day, it would depends on the age/maturity. i will admit when i was 14-16 i was curious, as i think everyone was...

before it was almost good enough to have dad keep his stash well hidden, well not anymore, with the internet anyone can find what they are looking for, regardless of age...

so this brings up the question, should a parent ban it from there household, and fear that the child would rebel and do worst things? or understand that they are are curious and allow them to watch it, with restrictions of course?

I have out, of curiosity, looked at some of the porn blocking software, and they are not hard to bypass, chances are your child will find a way to get around them... (some times as simple as booting up into safe mode and deleting a couple of files)

In my opinion, as long as they are not hurting them selves, hurting others, both physically and emotionally, allow them... know what they are doing, but allow them... after all, haven't we all made mistakes?

answered Sep 21 '10 at 00:04

trueb's gravatar image

trueb
16.1k54105269

heh lucky dudes ... i was caught with my pants down :D

answered Jun 29 '10 at 10:21

Dark%20Avenger's gravatar image

Dark Avenger
1.2k375359

I would arrange with my son an agreement: He does his housework and homework when required, and I pay for a monthly subscription to a safe, legal porn site of his choice. The other requirement is that he never show his friends.

answered Jun 29 '10 at 11:36

Seb's gravatar image

Seb
(suspended)

edited Sep 21 '10 at 07:40

Good luck with that and by that I mean him not telling his friends ;)

(Sep 20 '10 at 22:34) IamTechCrazy IamTechCrazy's gravatar image

And by what process would he choose a porn site? :)

(Sep 20 '10 at 22:52) tsilb tsilb's gravatar image

Just out of curiosity...are you a parent?

(Sep 20 '10 at 23:37) SJP SJP's gravatar image
1

Please note that I did not ask for your thumbs up. One thing I do ask is that you do NOT edit my response merely because you don't believe this could be enforced: "The other requirement is that he never show his friends." This is enforceable by punitive measures. If he were to show his friends and his friends parents caught him, I would surely hear about it and he would lose the subscription.

@tsilb Searching the internet, of course.

@SJP No, but I've been a very curious child before.

(Sep 21 '10 at 07:43) Seb Seb's gravatar image

you don't have to do that arrangement. you're prying too much as a parent, if you are a good parent, you provide him/her privacy nothing more/less.

you can search psych textbooks, and studies about it. it's the proper intervention.

you children aren't your puppets, so you don't have to do everything/ tell them everything. you were once a kid right? and on that stage of development, kids wanted to feel independent, make them "feel" it. i'm not saying just let them do what they want. but the guidance you are trying to give is i think too much.

(Oct 07 '11 at 22:06) xedric14 xedric14's gravatar image

Good luck finding a "Safe and legal" porn site... LOL

(Mar 25 '12 at 11:07) Lee Wood Lee%20Wood's gravatar image

When Post is closed, it is closed. No more discussion

(Mar 25 '12 at 11:41) kevin ♦♦ kevin's gravatar image
showing 5 of 7 show all

I wouldn't actually be that bothered, but I would explain to my kid the laws about pornography and what is okay and not okay to look at. But as long as it's legal and not bestiality or necrophilia, I don't mind.

answered Sep 20 '10 at 22:23

Gorkon5567's gravatar image

Gorkon5567
2.5k273768

If I caught my kids watching porn on the internet... Well, 1 depends on their age, and 2, depends on if it's a boy or girl.
If it was my son, these are the possible outcomes;
1. Age 10+; I'd tell him to cut it out and install a load of shit on the computer to keep him off the sites.
2. 14+; I'd sit down and talk to him about it, explain to him how I feel about it, and tell him that I don't mind, but I don't want him doing it when people are home, and that if he wanted, I could get him some DVD's or something that way we didn't have to worry about a virus.
3. 18+; Tell him to close the door next time and wait till everyone's gone and out of the house. Lol
Now if it's my daughter, here's the possible outcomes;
1. 10+; I'd tell her to cut it out and install a load of shit on the computer to keep her off the sites, and not to tell her mother.
2. 14+; I'd sit down and talk to her about it, explain to her that I don't like her doing it, but if she wants to keep on, then I'll let her, but not to do it while anyone is home, and that I could get her some DVD's or something if she wanted to keep the computer safe, but not to tell her mother.
3. 18+; Close the door next time and wait till everyone's gone and out of the house. Lol,
Now, if I catch them and they don't notice that I caught them, I'd sit them down later when no one's home instead of being proactive right there.
Just a few ideas off the top of my head. Just curious--Are you asking cause you caught your kid?

answered Sep 20 '10 at 23:33

jsdman1234's gravatar image

jsdman1234
720717891

1

I prefer this method.

(Sep 21 '10 at 12:55) Viper92Z Viper92Z's gravatar image

Thank you :) I thought it was good too. Lol

(Sep 24 '10 at 21:18) jsdman1234 jsdman1234's gravatar image

Yeah, that's what you say when you're 15 and have no kids. What's more important is what they're looking at, not how old or what gender they are. If they're looking at suffocation techniques, scat videos, demoralizing or abusive videos or rape videos there's reason for concern. If they're looking at Playboy type pictures there's no reason to even bring it up. But always monitor you're kids actions online, don't let them know how either, a lot of them know more about computers than their parents. I use administrator tools and a third party keystroke recorder.

(Oct 06 '11 at 19:33) MacManDerek MacManDerek's gravatar image

"Move over let me watch" lol jk

answered Sep 21 '10 at 19:54

FilipinoPower's gravatar image

FilipinoPower
13.0k140219313

If I ever get kids and they watch porn, I will have to make sure they didn't install malware on the PC.

answered Jun 29 '10 at 10:40

Razor512's gravatar image

Razor512
16.5k3683259

Good point! A lot of bad stuff comes with it.

(Jun 29 '10 at 11:10) Mihkel Mihkel's gravatar image

Just set up an underprivileged account and make sure they do their pr0n viewing in it. Then they can download dialers/malware to their hearts desire, realise that it doesn't work and learn how to spot porn from malware.

(Sep 21 '10 at 07:49) Seb Seb's gravatar image

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Asked: Jun 05 '10 at 17:41

Seen: 25,500 times

Last updated: Mar 25 '12 at 11:41